Dear Diary
by Cry Me A River
Summary: Charity's diary. I wanted to give her a personality, a chance to be like the other teens to a certain extent. hope you all like it
1. Thoughts

Story Title : Dear Diary   
  
Author: Cry me a river  
  
Summary: Charity's diary. What she really thinks and feels. Warning extreme Charity fans maybe offended because I have decided to give her a personality!   
  
Sorry if anything is mispelled.  
  
Dear Diary  
  
Thoughts  
Dear Diary,  
  
Ok, normally I don't write in diaries., but when Aunt Grace gave this one to me i figuered why not use it? Although I doubt that I am going to carry it in my purse, or with me every where i go because it's pink and fuzzy. But I know Grace was trying. I hate the way she shops for me. Its always pink or girlie. Not that I mind the girlie part, because I am a girl, but it seems like Aunt Grace thinks of me as a child. I am growing up, well grown practically. I understand that she wants to protect me. She lost her sister, and I lost my mother. But i don't want to be protected. I just want to live my life. I am grateful for the place to stay and family and the love that they give me. But I just want to be myself and to do the things that I want to do with my life. I feel so misunderstood! But everyone expects me to be miss perfect and nice 24 hours all the time. it DRIVES ME CRAZY! I am a TEENAGER and I get mad and upset like everyone else. But I think and feel that i am expected not to have those feelings. I long to be like Kay in a certain sense. That is not to say I agree with some of the things she does, but I know she is hurting. I just want to be able to yell, whine, or cry without caring what the consequences are, just like she does. I long to be a smart ass when Reese gets too nosey or Miguel aggervates me. I even wanna shoot back at Kay but I don't.   
  
Hey I think I am getting something good from this stupid pink diary! I feel like a weight has been lifted off me already. Thats cool. I have so many things going through my head right now. But do I dare put them in this diary? Would anyone want to read it? i would say no because Kay thinks I am boring, but who knows for sure. I have suspicions, dreams, and wants that I would love to get out. But do I dare? Maybe I should buy a lock and keep it with me at all times. Hmmm... I will have to think on this. This is almost like talking to someone that I trust. Oh darn, I gotta go. I hear Jessica calling everyone to dinner.  
  
Charity  
So what do u think? Should I continue? I am not much of a Charity fan so I don't know...I am trying to do a good story about her. One where she is really not so bad!  
  
Thanks   
  
Shana 


	2. Deep

Story title : Dear Diary  
  
Author: Cry Me A River  
  
Summary :Charity's diary. Her wants beliefs and more.  
Dear Diary  
  
Deep  
Dear Diary,  
  
Hi, I am back. Dinner was boring, as usual. Hey that reminds me of a lyric to one of my favorite Rap tunes. It says the meetings were boring, for real I was snoring--lol that about sums it up. that lyric is from a song called this is the way we ball by lil' flip... Of course no one knows that I listen to rap. I don't even have to mention how Aunt Grace would react if she knew that there was a song that had the word ball in it. :P I swear I just wish I could be myself and blast Ja Rule or Ludacris, and be a normal teenager. I wonder, would that ever happen? And if it did would the Bennett's have a heart attack? But I have deeper secrets than listening to rap tunes and wanting to be a smart ass when approriate. Much deeper, and more shocking. Man, I feel like laughing like an evil scientist when I say that lol. But that would be too corney. Also, I have more visions than what I admit. Some are great and others are not so great. I long to share them but I don't trust anyone that much. But hey since you can't talk back I might as well trust you, huh? You can't snitch and if I can keep you out of the wrong hands...maybe I will get to be the person I want to be. I mean its like I need confidence and not to feel like I have to perfect. Will that come in time diary? I hope so. I have so many secrets that need to escape. For instance, secrets about Miguel, John, myself, Kay, Sam etc. Well, I oughta go. Its getting late and I need my beauty sleep.  
  
Charity 


	3. Deeper

Story Title: Dear Diary  
  
Author: Cry Me A River  
  
Deeper....  
Dear Diary,  
  
I felt so much better today! I woke up in a really good mood and things seemed to get better. Aunt Grace was busy at the bed and breakfast, Jessica went shopping with Reese, and of course Kay doesn't live here anymore. So that meant that i had the house to myself. I can't tell you how good that felt. The first thing that i did after breakfast was blast my new Eminem cd. Then around lunch time John and David came over looking for Grace. Once I told them where she was David left. Since John decided to stick around, I invited him to a picnic lunch. We had a lot of fun and talked about things. Miguel and I haven't done that in forever. I feel as if he and I are drifting apart. If that isn't bad enough I am starting to have feelings for another guy. A guy that is totally off limits. I kinda see how Kay did the things she did. But those wouldn't help me . What can I do? I mean i even think that he feels the same way about me. But there is no way that we can ever be together, and I do mean EVER. It is so frustrating and it hurts. I want to break up with Miguel at times, because I feel our relationship is over and I want to move on. But a part of me still loves him, and i know he still loves me. But I feel that it isn't fair to lead him on either. Things are such a mess!   
  
Well, I am outtie  
  
Charity  
A/N: Do u know who Charity is talking about? Should she break things off? Should i continue? 


	4. Whoa!

Story Title: Dear Diary  
  
Author: Cry Me A River  
  
A/N: I am going to skip ahead of couple of weeks.  
Dear Diary,  
I bet you are wondering who that I am talking about the guy that i like more than Miguel. But I am not gonna tell you right now. Maybe I will soon, though. Omg things have been going wild around here. Sam has moved out of the house because Grace won't make him sign the anulment papers. In a way, i don't blame her because she doesn't want David to go to hell, and that is very honorable. And I have had this vision of Aunt Grace and David, happy and in love in a place that I don't recognize. I want her to be happy, but I want Sam to be happy too. He seems devestated, and I understand that too. I think that he will be happy. I have had a vision of him too. In that vision he is holding a woman with long blond hair and there is a grown man in the back ground but I can't see their faces. Thats too weird. Any way on to other matters! Miguel is still the same, professing his love and that I am his soul mate. I just smile and go on but I don't feel that way anymore. I talked to John about it and he said to follow my heart. But do i dare? I think the other guy feels the same about me, but I don't know for sure....Kay is showing a lot more. Its cute really, to see her in her maternity clothes (and they are quite stylish). I really habor no ill feelings for her, though I suppose i should. Really, I just feel sorry for her. I am even thinking I want her to be with Miguel, but I know he would never agree to that.   
  
I am having some not so happy visions too. One of a man with blonde hair trying to destroy the love between Chad and Whitney and then I am having scarier ones of babies and attempted murder, and a scary woman laughing. She has something in her hand and their is a blond at her feet, either hurt or bleeding. I don't why I am having these visions and I wish they would stop!!!! It makes me wonder if evil is back in Harmony????  
  
Oh I just thought of something. I swear the woman Kay lives with, Tabitha, looks pregnant. That doesn't seem possible because She is soo old. I don't mean that disrespectful, but its true. I don't know if she is just gaining weight or what, but it is definitly weird.   
  
Well, lets move on to me! I bought this really punk outfit today. It was stupid really, because I don't have any where to wear it! But it is so cool. I bought these black baggy jinco pants (boys) that has a white dragon on the front leg and another on the back.Then I got a tight black shirt that is kinda ripped and torn across the stomach . I plan to accessorize this with black braclets, spike braclettes, and a collar with a chain and smokey make up. But then again where I wear it? LOL.  
  
Hey I guess I better go. Grace is calling me. I know David asked her to go away with him (because she told me) and I wonder if this is why she is calling me.   
  
Gotta Run  
  
Charity! 


End file.
